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STA 2018 KS2 Expected Standard
Piece D — Diary
Year 6 · STA Expected Standard · Leigh
Published exemplification — the same live marking as the product, on government or exam-board material, not a pupil’s book. STA KS2 English writing exemplification. Contains material developed by the Standards and Testing Agency for 2018 national curriculum assessments and licenced under Open Government Licence v3.0.
Published script
Live marked report
Marked against: STA · primary · English Writing
KS2 Writing Assessment
EXS
Working at the Expected Standard
This is an enthusiastic and engaging recount with a strong sense of audience. It matches the kind of reader-aware, chronologically organised writing seen in the STA expected-standard recount exemplification. The piece is lively and purposeful, even though some sentence control and spelling are still uneven.
Strengths
You use lively, precise vocabulary to create atmosphere, such as "definitely worth it", "small and diminutive" and "horrifying object".
You keep the reader involved with direct address and questions, for example "Are you still doubting being a penny stinker?" and "Would you like to visit the Globe theatre?".
Your recount moves through the day in a clear order, with paragraphs shifting from the Globe Theatre to the workshop, then to Clink Prison and the Golden Hinde.
Areas for Development
Some sentences are very long, so the meaning can become hard to follow.
Punctuation is sometimes uneven, especially commas, apostrophes and full stops in longer sentences.
A few Year 5/6 spellings and proper nouns are not yet secure, for example "Shakespeares", "Shakesphere" and "theartre".
Next Steps
1
Read each paragraph aloud and split any run-on sentence into two shorter sentences before publishing.
2
Use a dictionary or spellcheck to check tricky proper nouns and ambitious words before you finish.
MetPartially metNot met
Composition
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| write effectively for a range of purposes and audiences, selecting language that shows good awareness of the reader | Met | The writer directly engages the reader with questions and comment, for example "Are you still doubting being a penny stinker?" and "Would you like to visit the Globe theatre?" |
| use paragraphs to organise ideas | Met | The recount is divided into clear sections that move through the day in order, from the Globe Theatre to the workshop and later London sights. |
| in narratives, describe settings, characters and atmosphere | Partially met | There is strong atmosphere in places such as "a beautiful detailed painting" and "a dirty skeleton in a cage", but the writing is more recount-focused than fully developed narrative description. |
Vocabulary
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| select vocabulary and grammatical structures that reflect what the writing requires, doing this mostly appropriately | Met | The writer chooses expressive and age-appropriate vocabulary such as "interesting day", "small and diminutive", "horrifying object" and "lovely teachers". |
| use a range of devices to build cohesion within and across paragraphs | Met | Cohesion is supported by time markers and connectives such as "Even though", "To begin", "As the day carried on", "Eventually" and "Just after we finished our lunch". |
grammar and punctuation
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| use verb tenses consistently and correctly throughout their writing | Met | The piece is mainly in the past tense, for example "I was able", "our tour guide Olivia led us" and "we took an interesting stroll". |
| use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 mostly correctly | Partially met | There is some effective punctuation, including parenthesis and question marks, but longer sentences sometimes lose control, as in "on the walls was a quote from one of Shakespeares plays 'to be or not to be'". |
| use commas to clarify meaning or avoid ambiguity in writing | Partially met | Commas are often used to support meaning, for example "Even though the journey was long, it was definitely worth it" and "which depended on your status, meaning how wealthy you are". |
| use brackets, dashes or commas to indicate parenthesis | Met | The writer uses parenthesis for extra information, for example "(which depended on your status, meaning how wealthy you are)" and "(which is Romeo's family name)". |
Spelling
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| spell correctly most words from the year 5 / year 6 spelling list, and use a dictionary to check the spelling of uncommon or more ambitious vocabulary | Met | Many ambitious spellings are correct, including "definitely", "diminutive", "horrifying" and "co-operating", though there are some misspellings in proper nouns and a few common forms such as "Shakespeares", "Shakesphere" and "theartre". |
Handwriting
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| Handwriting (assessed from the original work) | Met | Neat letters with some uneven spacing and size.; Neat letters with some uneven spacing and size.; Neat cursive with some uneven spacing and size. |
Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling security assessment
Sentence structure
Varied clause structures and subordination
Mostly secure
“Even though the journey was long, it was definitely worth it because last Friday, I had an interesting day learning new things about William Shakespeare and the Globe Theatre which is where Shakespeare's plays are shown.”
“To begin the day with a thrill, I was able to go into the Globe Theatre and feel what it was like sitting in the different seats (which depended on your status, meaning how wealthy you are).”
“Whilst we were walking, I came across a dirty skeleton in a cage in public view from my opinion.”
The writing includes layered sentences with subordination, fronted clauses and parenthesis.
Punctuation
Parenthesis and embedded explanation
Secure
“(which depended on your status, meaning how wealthy you are)”
“(which is Romeo's family name)”
“[although I only understood the quote in English]”
Extra information is added in parenthetical detail.
Question marks for reader engagement
Secure
“Are you still doubting being a penny stinker?”
“Would you like to visit the Globe theatre?”
Questions are used to involve the reader.
Vocabulary
Precise and expressive word choice
Mostly secure
“definitely worth it”
“small and diminutive”
“horrifying object”
“interesting stroll”
The piece uses vivid vocabulary to create interest and tone.
Grammar
Past-tense control
Mostly secure
“I had an interesting day”
“our tour guide Olivia led us”
“we took an interesting stroll through London”
The recount is mainly controlled in the past tense.
Spelling
Ambitious vocabulary and Year 5/6 spellings
Mostly secure
“definitely”
“diminutive”
“co-operating”
“horrifying”
A number of ambitious words are spelled correctly.
Proper nouns and common spellings not yet secure
Emerging
“Shakespeares”
“theartre”
“Shakesphere”
“lets”
Some high-value spellings and names are inconsistent.
Student's original text with teacher annotations highlighted
Original ending: "I can’t believe the amount of fun I’ve had discovering so many interesting facts and co-operating together when I acting." Strong idea and voice, but the final clause needs smoother grammar and a clearer sentence boundary.