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STA 2018 KS2 Expected Standard
Piece A — Narrative
Year 6 · STA Expected Standard · Leigh
Published exemplification — the same live marking as the product, on government or exam-board material, not a pupil’s book. STA KS2 English writing exemplification. Contains material developed by the Standards and Testing Agency for 2018 national curriculum assessments and licenced under Open Government Licence v3.0.
Published script
Live marked report
Marked against: STA · primary · English writing
KS2 Writing Assessment
EXS
Working at the Expected Standard
This is an ambitious and engaging diary-style recount with a clear sense of adventure. Your writing keeps the reader interested with vivid description and a strong sense of voice, and it is securely at the expected standard for Year 6.
Strengths
You create a strong first-person voice, for example: 'This morning, 4th April in the year of our Queen 1866, I proceeded...'.
Your description is vivid and atmospheric, such as 'destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore' and 'wine-red, astral-blue, buttery-yellow, emerald-green'.
You organise your ideas clearly into paragraphs and use time links to move the action on, e.g. 'Once the sun had set' and 'As the day carried on'.
You use ambitious vocabulary appropriately for the diary form, including 'astonished', 'venomous' and 'extraordinary'.
Areas for Development
Some sentence control is uneven, especially where the wording becomes awkward, for example 'I wonder how, for I hope will be as action-packed...'.
A few punctuation choices are not yet fully secure, especially around speech and longer sentences.
To reach greater depth, you would need even stronger control of formality and clearer use of the KS2 punctuation range such as semicolons, dashes and colons.
There are a few wording/spelling uncertainties that would benefit from careful proofreading, such as 'life guard' and the phrase 'schooner sunk'.
Next Steps
1
Write a short diary entry and reread it aloud to check each sentence makes complete sense.
2
Practise joining two related ideas with a colon, dash or semicolon where it improves meaning.
3
Choose one paragraph and improve the sentence openings so they sound smoother and more controlled.
MetPartially metNot met
Composition
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| write effectively for a range of purposes and audiences, selecting language that shows good awareness of the reader | Met | The diary voice is sustained and reader-aware: 'This morning, 4th April...' and 'Here I am exhausted, safe and in a dry ship...'. |
| in narratives, describe settings, characters and atmosphere | Met | Strong atmosphere is created in 'a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore' and 'the most deadliest species of plant'. |
| use paragraphs to organise ideas | Met | The response is divided into clear paragraphs as the action shifts from the tsunami scene to the African grasslands. |
Vocabulary
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| select vocabulary and grammatical structures that reflect what the writing requires, doing this mostly appropriately | Met | Ambitious vocabulary fits the formal adventure diary, for example 'astonished', 'venomous', 'extraordinary', 'fauna and flora'. |
| distinguish between the language of speech and writing and choose the appropriate register | Partially met | The register is mostly suitably formal, but 'Said, "This has been such an eye-opening journey..."' is awkward and not fully controlled. |
| exercise an assured and conscious control over levels of formality | Not met | There are some formal choices, but the writing does not yet show the secure, deliberate control expected for greater depth. |
grammar and punctuation
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| use a range of devices to build cohesion within and across paragraphs | Met | Time links and reference words move the account on: 'Once', 'This morning', 'As the sun rose', 'Following this', 'As the day carried on'. |
| use verb tenses consistently and correctly throughout their writing | Partially met | The piece is mainly in the past tense, e.g. 'proceeded', 'managed', 'was astonished', though there is one awkward phrase: 'I wonder how, for I hope...'. |
| use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 mostly correctly | Partially met | Commas, apostrophes and speech marks are used, but some sentence boundaries and comma choices are uneven. |
| use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 correctly and, when necessary, precisely to enhance meaning and avoid ambiguity | Not met | There is no secure evidence in this piece of the GDS punctuation range such as semicolons, dashes, colons or hyphens. |
Spelling
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| spell correctly most words from the year 5 / year 6 spelling list, and use a dictionary to check the spelling of uncommon or more ambitious vocabulary | Partially met | Many ambitious spellings are correct, including 'astonished', 'extraordinary' and 'chameleons', although a few words/phrases are uncertain or awkwardly presented. |
Handwriting
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| Handwriting (assessed from the original work) | Met | Neat letters with some uneven spacing and size.; Neat letters with some uneven spacing and size. |
Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling security assessment
Sentence Structure
Varied sentence lengths and complex sentence control
Mostly secure
“Once the sun had set, my colleague and I proceeded back to the schooner as a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore.”
“As the sun rose, I managed to keep calm whilst standing amongst the most deadliest species of plant on this grassland.”
Longer, layered sentences are attempted throughout.
Punctuation
Commas, speech marks and apostrophes
Mostly secure
“Said, 'This has been such an eye-opening journey and, Lady Annie Hudson, I feel very brave to have set out on this journey alone.'”
“I felt sure that I wouldn't survive.”
Direct speech and contraction punctuation are present, though not always perfectly controlled.
Cohesion
Time adverbials and linking devices across paragraphs
Secure
“This morning, 4th April in the year of our Queen 1866, I proceeded...”
“Following this, I was alarmed to witness...”
“As the day carried on, I proudly stood next to the rare chameleons...”
The piece moves logically through time and place.
Vocabulary
Ambitious and precise word choices
Secure
“a destructive tsunami”
“astonished”
“venomous plant”
“extraordinary”
Vocabulary is vivid and well matched to the adventurous diary form.
Spelling
Mostly accurate spelling of ambitious words
Mostly secure
“astonished”
“chameleons”
“extraordinary”
“fauna and flora”
Most ambitious spellings are correct in the OCR text.
Handwriting
Legibility and joins
Not yet evident
Handwriting is not visible in OCR text, so it cannot be judged here.
Student's original text with teacher annotations highlighted
This is a strong diary-style recount with a secure first-person voice. Awareness of reader 'This morning, 4th April in the year of our Queen 1866, I proceeded to the African grasslands...' Cohesion 'As the sun rose...' 'Following this...' 'As the day carried on...' Atmosphere 'a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore' and 'the most deadliest species of plant'.