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STA 2018 KS2 Expected Standard
Piece C — Recount
Year 6 · STA Expected Standard · Leigh
Published exemplification — the same live marking as the product, on government or exam-board material, not a pupil’s book. STA KS2 English writing exemplification. Contains material developed by the Standards and Testing Agency for 2018 national curriculum assessments and licenced under Open Government Licence v3.0.
Published script
Live marked report
Marked against: STA · primary · English Writing
KS2 Writing Assessment
EXS
Working at the Expected Standard
This is a lively and ambitious diary entry with a strong sense of time, place and danger. You make the reader feel the excitement and fear very well, and your vocabulary often sounds mature and carefully chosen. Compared with the STA greater-depth exemplar, your writing is not yet controlled and precise enough across the piece to move into GDS, but it does securely meet the expected-standard range .
Strengths
You create a clear sense of drama with phrases such as 'a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore' and 'I felt sure that I wouldn't survive'.
You use ambitious vocabulary successfully, including 'astonished', 'venomous', 'defenceless' and 'extraordinary'.
You show awareness of diary form by writing in the first person and reflecting at the end: 'Here I am exhausted, safe and in a dry ship'.
Areas for Development
Some sentences are awkward or unfinished, for example 'My colleague, who inspired me come on to join him on this journey and risk my life to find this animal'.
A few grammar choices are not yet secure, such as 'the life guard gave to us since the schooner sunk' and 'I proceeded back to the schooner as a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore'.
To reach greater depth, the writing would need more consistently controlled and purposeful sentence choices and punctuation, like the GDS exemplification shows .
Next Steps
1
Read each sentence aloud and edit any that sound unclear or incomplete.
2
Try using a wider range of punctuation and sentence openings to make the diary even more controlled and engaging.
MetPartially metNot met
Composition
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| write effectively for a range of purposes and audiences, selecting language that shows good awareness of the reader | Met | The diary voice is sustained and engaging: 'This morning, 4th April... I proceeded to the African grasslands (Kenya)' and 'Tomorrow, I hope, will be as action-packed as today has been!' show a clear awareness of the reader. |
| in narratives, describe settings, characters and atmosphere | Met | The setting and atmosphere are vivid: 'the African grasslands (Kenya)', 'a destructive tsunami hit the rocky shore' and 'I felt sure that I wouldn't survive' create strong tension. |
| integrate dialogue in narratives to convey character and advance the action | Not met | No dialogue is included in the visible response. |
Vocabulary
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| select vocabulary and grammatical structures that reflect what the writing requires, doing this mostly appropriately | Met | The piece uses ambitious vocabulary and an appropriately formal diary style: 'astonished', 'venomous plant', 'defenceless creature', 'extraordinary'. |
| distinguish between the language of speech and writing and choose the appropriate register | Partially met | The register is generally suited to a diary entry and is more literary than spoken, for example 'May I say, I was astonished...' and 'Here I am exhausted'. |
| exercise an assured and conscious control over levels of formality, particularly through manipulating grammar and vocabulary to achieve this | Partially met | There are some controlled formal choices, but also some awkward phrasing, such as 'my colleague... inspired me come on to join him'. |
Grammar and punctuation
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 mostly correctly | Partially met | Punctuation is generally secure, including commas in 'Once the sun had set,', 'Luckily, within a few minutes,' and 'a life guard, who was in a hot air balloon, somehow managed...'. |
| use commas to clarify meaning or avoid ambiguity in writing | Met | Commas are used to set off adverbials and the relative clause: 'Once the sun had set,', 'Luckily, within a few minutes,' and 'who was in a hot air balloon,'. |
| use relative clauses beginning with who, which, where, when, whose, that, or with an implied relative pronoun | Met | The sentence 'a life guard, who was in a hot air balloon, somehow managed to pull down a ladder' shows a relative clause used effectively. |
Spelling
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| spell correctly most words from the year 3 / year 4 spelling list, and some words from the year 5 / year 6 spelling list | Partially met | Many more ambitious spellings are correct, including 'astonished', 'proceeded', 'destructive', 'defenceless', 'exhausted' and 'extraordinary'. |
| use a dictionary to check the spelling of uncommon or more ambitious vocabulary | Not met | There is no direct evidence of dictionary use in the response. |
Handwriting
| Can-statement | Status | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| Handwriting (assessed from the original work) | Met | Neat letters with some uneven spacing and size.; Neat cursive with some uneven spacing and size. |
Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling security assessment
Sentence structure
Fronted adverbials and time markers
Secure
“This morning, 4th April in the year of our Queen 1866”
“Once the sun had set”
“Luckily, within a few minutes”
The writing opens and moves on with clear time markers and sequencing.
Relative clause
Mostly secure
“a life guard, who was in a hot air balloon, somehow managed to pull down a ladder and rescue us to safety”
An embedded relative clause is used to add detail.
Punctuation
Comma use for clarity
Mostly secure
“Once the sun had set, my colleague and I proceeded back to the schooner”
“Luckily, within a few minutes”
“a life guard, who was in a hot air balloon, somehow managed to pull down a ladder”
Commas are used to separate adverbials and the relative clause.
Vocabulary
Ambitious and precise word choice
Secure
“a destructive tsunami”
“my rapid heart thumps”
“astonished”
“venomous plant”
“defenceless creature”
“extraordinary”
The vocabulary creates atmosphere and tension.
Grammar/register
First-person diary voice and reflective ending
Mostly secure
“I feel very brave to have set out on this journey alone”
“Here I am exhausted, safe and in a dry ship”
“Tomorrow, I hope, will be as action-packed as today has been!”
The piece keeps a diary voice and reflects on events.
Spelling
Mostly accurate spelling of common and ambitious words
Mostly secure
“proceeded”
“astonished”
“chameleons”
“exhausted”
“extraordinary”
Most spelling is correct, with a few insecure choices in less common or less controlled wording.